Adam's been here for a week, I've been feeling like a tree, the ones you see outside; naked, cold and darkdarkdark. Mostly cold. Then I bought a new moisturizer and had som sleep so now I feel very very balanced and filled with harmony and inspiration and I will be very very annoyed if anyone attempts to ruin my harmony with stupidity.

Anna and I went checked out Gamla stans and Hornstull streets christmas markets today where I bought a CANDIFIED APPLE (kanderat äpple eh), GLÖGG, SAFFRON HONEY (saffranshonung) and GINGERBREAD TINS SHAPED LIKE ELKS AND ANGELS (pepparkaksformar). I'm so excited about Christmas.

And theeeen, ( I know you don't care) we went to the Muffin Bakery at Fridhemsplan and I had a BROWNIE-CHEESECAKE MUFFIN and IT TASTED WORSE THAN THE SCHOOLS MEATBALLS. SERIOUSLY. LIKE REAL, SALTY, YELLOW CHEESE MIXED WITH MASSIVE CHOCOLATE. LIKE THE YELLOW SPERM IN KEN PARK. AND IT COST ME 28KR.

Now, pepparkaksbak and sen chillkväll at Amandas crib.

orkar du inte ett steg mer
inte lyfta ditt huvud
dignar du trött under hopplös gråhet
tacka då nöjd de vänliga små tingen
tröstande barnsliga
du har ett äpple i fickan
en bok med sagor där hemma
små små ting
föraktade i den tid som strålade levande
men milda fästen under de döda timmarna

Karin B 4-ever

My iPod has been heavily neglected for a while now. I've come to enjoy silence and and bus noise more. However, that's not why I keep leaving it at home cause I really see the practic thing with headphones as earmuffs these cold days. I simply don't have anything to listen to.

It seems to me as the new music is shit. I'm not saying it is cause I really don't know. Pitchfork, Digfi and Panda Magazine is deleted from my bookmarks. I can't have music in my ears right now knowing it was made by commersialism, magazines and diet coke.
Instead I've been enjoying the darkness with my old favorite hippie Joni Mitchell and Tom Waits (dinosaur creds to Scarlett for her covers, though). I keep wishing my body was a drunk as his voice. Maybe Rapp and I should become park bench drunks and drown our tragic memories (?) with some Tom Waits singing? I say Magz shall have a VIP-spot on that bench if he ever lives that long. On second thought I think I'm gonna go for the Joni Mitchell drunk style instead. I've always thought she seems like the nicest person ever.

Anyways, if you have any tip or inspiration to fill my anorectic iPod with; don't be a selfish cum whore, spit it out.

Today was, from many perspectives, just too awful to even deserve being described. And then my dad called and I had to tell him to take the rope off his neck.
But I'm not gonna shout hello before I'm off the bridge, you know that saying.
Everything's falling but there's still more cards in the game. Only one Tower, and Death of course. But that's just what fall is all about; the killing of things. Freezing them, drowning them. Fall and die.
Then there's spring again, after the long winter, but we'll be fine.

Det är Fars dag idag. Jag ska nu skicka ett mejl till min käre spermadonator som bor några km bort. Mor och far har nu helt brutit kontakten, vinterdäcken har flyttat hem till vår överfulla källare för gott. Och jag känner mig efter fyra år för första gången som ett riktigt tragiskt litet skilsmässobarn. Det är en märklig känsla.

Så det här var första året i mitt liv som jag fick komma ihåg Fars dag själv, och jag ska nu försöka använda mina diplomatiska skills till att rädda någons liv. Varför vet jag inte riktigt. Liberalismen menar att alla har rätt till att leva. Det får vi lära oss i skolan, samhället gör att vi kommer ihåg det. Hur det ska gå till vet jag dock inte.

Hur gör man en så ledsen människa glad utan att använda sig av kemikalier?

I WANT TO DO SOME SERIOUS VITAMIN OVERDOSING UNTIL I PASS OUT.

I wanted to do something, anything at all, but I can't take my Duroferons with any dairy products and I'm too pathetic to drink coffee so I just keep falling asleep all the time.
I NEED SOME IRON IN MY BLOOD BUT THERE'S A LIMIT TO HOW MUCH LEVERPASTEJ YOU CAN EAT ON A SANDWICH.
Blähö.

I wish my cat was still alive. And that I hadn't seen Napoleon Dynamite ten thousand times already.

Jag har hittat en blogg som inte innehåller ordet fashionista!

>>> VEM I HELVETE <<<

Yesterday I forgot my perfect, black umbrella at work. Today I went to check the last remaining metal of my braces (again, since I forgot and missed the last appointment) and they reminded me of the plastic thing I should have been wearing every night, the last two months. Of course that information never found my brain too comfortable.

So, I have come to the life-changing conclusion that my beloved father has been right my whole life; I truly am an idiot.
Though, I have found the cure and that thanks to an interesting boy who sat next to me on the bus home from Adam. From now on I'll sneak around with my little nerd notebook and takes notes. If I remember.



My old teeth and a notebook from Åhléns 10kr.